2012
People, crammed into the streets once roaring with bustling horns and hustle- anticipating everything the turn of the clock represents for them. The streets of the city adorned cultures, colors and sexes. We all wanted a glimpse of the marvel of the light show, ready to commence with the strike of midnight.
While I was overwhelmed with the claustrophobia my friend helped me overcome with tidbits of light (and heavy) conversation- I was awaiting the same. The switch in the numbers on our calendars, the new notebooks commencing a new year could simply just be that. Of course, for many of us, it isn’t. Its metaphorical of a larger switch within us. A switch for resolutions we deliberated over the last weeks and months. Changes we know we need. Transformations fighting their desire to exist, inevitably facing their expiration.
Yea, some may argue its just another day. But why not allow it to be a moment for us to really sit back and contemplate internally? To be able to think about the way our life has gone. With consideration to a realistic play of life, I could not help but conjure up the strength to finally face the consequences of my decisions. Were those the sort of consequences I wanted for myself? Was the result one worthy of who I am? Maybe. Maybe not.
In deliberating decisions, you think about the acts which cause them. The reasons prompting the results you know you could have been “wiser” with. Not to confuse this with any form of regret. You take it all in. It sinks in and begins to settle. And then it hits you. You ask yourself, “Is who I am a testament to who I am worthy of being?..Who I truly know I am?” You shake your head. How is it possible you know what you are worth, and yet, you forgot it? How could it have happened? In the hustle of delicately placed ticks ‘n tocks in your life, you ceased to exist.
Alas! This click will change it all. It will run through you as though an act of much needed hypnosis. And bam! You will be there. You will smile to yourself and say “Hell yea!” You will hold your head up high and think, “This is my time. Not only now, but NOW ON!” A smile with steadily draw itself on your face and it will be true. Its origin is deep within your heart, embedded within the realization you deserve to feel it. Through every particle of all your existing consciousness, you feel tall, you feel better, you feel better. Allow this to stay.
In the brief moment residing in the slightest switch in the angle of the hands of the clock, you forget it all. “How do I look?”… “I want to buy that dress”… “I need to pick up the kids.” In that slight angle of time, you just smile, you celebrate life, you celebrate you.
My resolution for you. Don’t let that fade. That angle, I speak of, is, you. That smile, is everything you are. The realization of where you just saw yourself, for the better, is where you shall not stop striving to be. Happy new year!
