Drugged Emotions
I feel a sort of unsettlement today. An emotion. One, which may reappear in the same form, or take on another, and occur to me. This evening, I felt love for life, happiness for myself, and joy for the day. Within a few hours and television exposure, I sunk deep in the comfyness of a cloud-like furniture in silenced tears.
I thought back to how relationships have accessorized my life. The love, the hate, the laughter, the tears.. You know?! The whole shebang. Time and again, I found myself meeting acquaintance with an emotion, I had once known in the past. One, perhaps, I was unfamiliar to and lived through others until I was able to understand and experience it first hand. And after that, it was as if I awaited its return. The sort of endorphin rush, you can only but take in in jolts. In mega-shots, so to speak. Take as much of it as you can, lose all sight of reality, only to become one with this intoxication. Your inhibitions slow down, and your guard just the same. Your sanity is in oblivion and rationality is yet to be discovered.
The interesting thing is, emotions, are indeed no different than a dosage. Their effects only last so long, to wither away. With their fade, another “halucagenic” finds its way into our day and we are smitten by another dose.
Perhaps, this one finds us elated; and overwhelmed with the joys of life. We are motivated like no other time, and doing what we had deemed impossible. Others notice our intoxication, and we let the endorphins multiply. There is no sight of any logic, it’s all off a high. We try to instill its ability and strength to the maximum, to be able to push past our limits and continue. To our dismay and not to our surprise, it withers. Again, a new stimulant awaits us.
Perhaps this stimulates rage, and anger towards everyone around us. Pleasantry is met with inquisition. “What is wrong with everyone?” “Why is everyone so goddamm happy?” “GEEZ!” And so, this creates a completely different sort of work ethic, if you will. We go about everything in a manner completely different from the “hit” of the prior emotion. This is unlike it in every way. And this too, people recognize.
I mean, to gather the number of emotional stimulants ultimately end up factoring the way we do what we do.. Pff! I would not know. But to maintain stability with a single one, and successfully- is a tough task in itself. Someone spilling coffee on our brand new shirt can set of a whole different reaction, and a free muffin at a coffee shop; something else?
The best we can ultimately do, is maintain control over the factors that maintain any sort of significance when it comes to such a small yet gigantic stimulant in life. So what will you allow to create a detachment from rationality? And what will you do to assimilate yourself into emotional and mental stability? Did the coffee spill really matter?
